Tuesday, 21 December 2010

God Bless the Queen 2

Es megegyszer. Csak azert, mert homokot szorunk a hora, az nem fog elolvadni. Ellenben ha eloszor ellapatoljuk a havat, akkor szorhatunk, mert ugyan a homok nem egy reneszansz ember, de csuszkalas ellen jo. Es az egbol nem veszelyes anyag (treacherous substance), ciganygyerek, pudlikutya vagy aratogep hullik, ahogy azt a mediakban eloszeretettel hangsulyozzak, hanem ho. Vagy esetleg jegkristalyos viz. 

Azt meg elfelejtettem hozzatenni, hogyha megegyszer valamelyik kollegam azt mondja, hogy holnap "megprobal" bejonni dolgozni, orrbavagom. Mi az, hogy megprobal bejonni? Ez munkahely, nem szabadonvalasztott szombat delutani szocialis sorkorcsonya.

Londont mult szombaton megtamadtak a gonosz hopelyhek. Azota is a hullakon lepkedunk.

Monday, 20 December 2010

God Bless the Queen

This little thing here is for my hungarian speaking fanbase and it is mostly about my despise towards impotent people.

Es most a magyarul beszelo rajongotaboromnak szeretnem anyanyelven eloadni az angolokkal szemben erzett totalis frusztraciomat. Mert hogy lehet, hogy az az orszag, amely egykoron vilaghatalom volt, most keptelen megtisztitani a reptereit? Anglia bepanikolt, mert az egbol feher vattanak tuno csapadek esik, ami nyilvan furcsa egy olyan orszagban, ami a fold eszaki felteken a Foldkozi-tengertol 1000 km-re eszakra helyezkedik el. Tel van es telen esik a ho es hideg van es ezen a 21. szazadban emberek meg tudnak lepodni, mert ugye tel csak egyszer van evente es hat a tel vegetol a kovetkezo tel megkezdeseig el lehet felejteni minden rosszat, havat es hideget.
Mert mi is tortent az elmult 3 hetben? Esett a ho. Nem igazan sok, csak egy kicsi, hoemberepiteshez pont elegendo. Erre 5000 iskola bezar, szulok otthon maradnak gyermekeikkel, nyilvan a buszvezetok es hotakarito munkasok is szulok, ugyhogy ok se mennek dolgozni, amitol aztan mas se jut el munkaba es itt a veg... Mert leesett 12 cm ho.
(OK. Skociaban tobb esett, de ez most az en szempontombol teljesen lenyegtelen, mivel nem vagyok Skociaban es nem terveztem ezen a telen odautazni.) Aztan megjelennek a hirek, hogy na igen, a vilag egyik legnagyobb repulotere bezar, de hat vegul is a legtobb ember amugy is draga burzsoa karib-szigeteki nyaralasara igyekezett es megerdemlik, hogy ejszakakat a reptereken toltsenek, mert ha nekunk szar es nem mehetunk napozni, akkor dogoljon meg a szomszed tehene is. Majdnem magyarok az angolok. Az, hogy a legtobb ember a vilag egyik legnagyobb repuloteren altalaban atszall vagy leszall, esetleg felszall, mert haza akar menni, hogy a szeretteivel, vagy kevesbe szeretteivel toltse a karacsonyt, arrol nem beszelunk. Ugyhogy neha, csak neha szeretnem az osszes sznob nyugat-europai Europa Unios polgartarsamnak az orrara kotni, hogy szegeny, hulye, kommunista, kelet-europai nyershuszabalo barbar Magyarorszagon mi vasaroltunk holapatokat, sot es hokotroautot.
Mert az mar csak hab a tortan, hogy az atlag angol hozzaallastol aztan barki ferfoldulhatna. Mert egy angol sose csinal semmit. Csak megprobalja. Esetleg eselyt ad neki. Marpedig az esely nem fogja letakaritani az utakat es a jardat.
8 merfoldre lakunk Heathrow repulotertol. Szombat del ota nem esett ho. A repuloter zarva van pentek ota es elorelathatolag szerda reggelig. Nem akarom itt tolteni a karacsonyt csak azert, mert a tehetetlen szigetorszagiak nem probalkoztak elegge. Ranting is over. And Out.

Sunday, 19 December 2010

First set of pics from Australia

Scaling up the wombat.
Wombats are one of the cosiest animals. They look like nothing else
and you just want to wildly cuddle them. But you are not allowed.
They have pockets though and sleep on their back with legs to all sides.

Gee, I take pics of plants...

Ficus watkinsia, which is not a tree

View from Mountville
The green has a totally different color in Australia.
It is almost neon green. Bit crazy and very 80s.
Stormy Byron Bay
When we arrived, it was really still stormy at Byron Bay,
but the colors are always more pronounced when the
weather is like this, and anyway... It was the Pacific Ocean.
THE OCEAN... I love the water, the wastness, the immense power
 and the fact that it is so ancient. Me in a funny mood...
Sleeping Koala
They do sleep a lot. And their butt is hard, because they sit on it
so much, that they need a less sensitive part. My butt is big too,
but I don't sleep that much. But then I also don't eat eucalyptus
leaves, although they smell pretty good. The leaves, not the
koalas. They smell like furry animals.

Friday, 3 December 2010

Australian Honeymoon

And so we went to Australia. Brendon promised sunshine and heat, which kind of almost came, except when we arrived, it was pouring down. And was kinda cold.
But whatever. Australia is great, the hills and mountains are beautiful and we saw koalas and ate kangaroos and watched Brendon surf and drove thousands of kilometers (Brendon did most of the driving, I only drove when everybody else was drunk) and visited family and friends and waterfalls and two states worth of driving license registration offices.
Honestly funny to visit a country where the first non-aboriginal settlement means younger than my apartment in Copenhagen.
And they are singing little songs in the TV commercials.
Like this except of course newer.

And the most important... I was attacked by a humongous leech. It wanted to suck the blood out of me by attaching itself between my middle and ring finger. And then I must have smelled very odd, because it just left. Jumped off and disappeared in the jungle.
I think Brendon was disappointed, he was ready to drive an hour with my throbbing hand and a big and growing leech til the next salt.
Everybody should go to Australia. People are real nice and they have lots of pie.
Pictures coming soon.

Friday, 24 September 2010

Sunday Walk

On Sunday I went for a walk around our home. It was kind of sad. British architecture is really not doing much good for the look of the city. We are lucky with our house, but wherever I look I see decay. Bad quality cheap materials, ugly tall houses, rotting house boats and overused McDonalds. Mind you it is a nice walk. It was just grey weather. Plus being a foreigner on Sundays is usually depressing. And Brendon was out being a guy, watching football and drinking beer. I was alone enjoying social housing in the western suburbs of London.

Houseboating traffic jam

Bridge Steam Museum

River Thames during low tide being muddy

Phallic suburbia

Inside and outside

Playground in the park with a view

Tuesday, 31 August 2010

Notting Hill Carneval

Monday we went to Notting Hill Carneval to celebrate cultural unity and diversity and all that. Except it is not true. We went there because Brendon wanted to eat caribbean food. Practically after arriving he took the first possible curry goat with some spicy craziness and ate it all. I was more selective, I was wondering around before settling with Ackee and salt fish. Was cool. And the savoury banana too. The rest was a mass of people being loud and drunk and colorfully dressed. And some very fantastic person came up with the grand idea of closing down all tube stations except Holland Park which resulted us walking to Shepherds Bush and went to see the Expendables. Brendon also had a mango cupcake. Or was it me?

Yellow ladies with purple guys
The big silver lady

Blue lady with green lady and an orange lady in the background

Monday, 30 August 2010

Visiting Stonehenge and Glastonbury

This Sunday trip went to Stonehenge first. We even got up early thinking that we could get there before the other million tourists who decided to look at stones on this wonderful long weekend. Brendon wanted big wind and dramatic clouds. I wanted a coffee. So we learnt that if we have no cash, we don't have to pay for the parking and if we want to see Stonehenge alone, we have to go to one of the organized early morning or sunset viewing. But beside the mass of people, souvenir shop and food kiosks where I couldn't buy coffee without cash, Stonehenge is special. Because it is windy and the clouds are dramatic and because those stones look magical for 5000 years now.

Everybody was on the phone
Dramatic clouds

Next station was Glastonbury. I half expected seeing hippies and witches running around throwing peace signs at us, but what has happened, that Brendon was called by nature and we ended up at George and Pilgrims eating mushroom soup and lasagna. My advice: Don't go there.

Then we visited all the trinkets shops. Very disappointing. No voodoo, no magic, no magick or magik, just some indian-tibetian-chinese stuff and crystals. There was only one shop where they sold all sort of herbs to make love potions and teas. Then we went up to the Tor, which Brendon thinks wasn't at all a steep hike, only even the sheep was almost toppling over while standing on all 4. I was also in danger because the wind always wanted to push me off the hill. We once again also had the dramatic clouds and took some nice pictures of the Island of Avalon. And the surrounding fields. And the sheep. And Brendon.

The straight Tor of Glastonbury
Sheep on the steep
Dramatic clouds again

Then down to the Glastonbury Abbey or whats left of it. The kitchen for example. Brendon liked that. He likes big kitchens. And the rest of the ruins and then we went home.

Very nice picture of the ruins of the Abbey

Sunday, 22 August 2010

Visiting Petworth

Today we decided to visit the Southern English countryside and try out Brendon's new car and my ability to survive the blue Little Tree air freshener in Bouquet smell. The car is real fast and the smell is sickening, but the countryside finally started to look like as it should. Green. Not brown and yellow and burnt and dry.

So Petworth is a big 17th century manor which belonged to the ... And then I got lost. I think many families was sort of attached to it, but when I read about, it is just a mess of names. There was a duke of Somerset involved. And Percys too. But what is cool, that they have a fantastic art collection. They have a Bosch!!! And 2 William Blake. And a dozen or so Turner and Van Dyck and Gainsborough. It is totally fantastic.

And the park. Huge and old and filled with deer poo. It was like walking on a minefield. But Brendon saw his first real deer with antlers. He has already seen one without them in Germany.

It was totally worth seeing Petworth. It was grey and rainy, as it should be.

Big mansion house in the rain
The fields of poo
The empire of the ducks
The moss and the dogs